woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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