You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize