My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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