genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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