True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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