I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
