I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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