So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
