By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
