White coat. Heels.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
