12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
pray to the hookup gods
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
