I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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