but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
