Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
