I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
