He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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