IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
