K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
