the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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