even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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