i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
