so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
