My friends, they love my intelligence
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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