KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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