you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
