The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
