In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
