its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think I just sharted jello shots
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