I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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