Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
