there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
