Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i've created a new STD.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
