i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
