please come you make the beer taste better
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
