No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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