I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
