he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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