Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
