yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
