is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
