I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
