is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
