we're blogging at a bar
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
