So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
