Having a random hookup so left but love u
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
