Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
