Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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