OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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