I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
