I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
