I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't make out with my wife yet
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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