I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
