How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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