Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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