i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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