as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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