Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize