Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And my parents said I crawled through the house
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