the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
