Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dear god my vagina.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
